The Fall Reset: My Annual Self-Care Ritual

I’m currently sitting in a coffee shop, solo, sipping a latte and listening to Fleetwood Mac over the café speakers. It’s around 9:30 on a cloudy September morning and I’m on my first day of a whole week off of work – and I’m not going anywhere particularly exciting. This is my annual PTO appointment with myself to do anything I want for a few days, go to personal appointments, make plans for the coming holiday season and end of year, start to reflect on how the year has gone for me so far, and do what I need to do to take care of myself.

I’ve kept this ritual for around eight or nine years now, starting from the time I was 26 and living with my best friend, back when my now-husband and I were still long-distance dating and most of my time belonged just to me. Every year, even if it’s just for a couple of days, I’ve taken off some time to take care of life stuff that wasn’t as easy to accomplish in my normal day-to-day and give myself a mental break (particularly from work). Now that I’m in my mid-thirties with a husband, a baby, and a whole house (all of which I am very grateful for), I find that I need this check-in time with myself more than ever. And while I’m going to spend a portion of this time with my son and my husband, it’s important for me to really keep the majority of the time I’m taking to be just mine – so our babysitter is coming in all week, as though it’s a regular work week for me.

This year in particular has felt pretty chaotic for me. With all of the stress of what’s going on in this country and around the world, plus an especially busy stretch at work and having a really active two-year-old son at home, the mental exhaustion I’m experiencing has been overwhelming – and try as I might to put routines into place to mitigate that exhaustion, I’ve found that it’s catching up to me in a way that I can’t fully control. I’ve been looking forward to this week off more than usual, and I’m very glad that I already had this ritual in place for myself to take the break that I need to not just survive through the end of the year, but actually enjoy it as much as I can.

So here’s how I’m spending my week:

Monday (yesterday): I worked in the morning to close out everything I needed to finish (this had the added benefit of not having to rush through everything on Friday), and went to an OB-GYN appointment for my annual check-up, before coming home to take the third and final session in a live course I signed up for through my professional network (it was on finance and that’s not my strong suit at all, so I was very glad I took it). The day ended with me hanging out with my son so my husband could go to the gym, and after our son’s bedtime, my husband and I had our weekly finance meeting (this is a relatively new Monday night ritual of ours).

Tuesday: I slept in this morning and hung out with my family over breakfast before heading over to the café where I’m sitting now to spend some time writing in a setting that is somewhere other than my home, and put together my list of personal and professional goals to hit between now and the end of the year. After this, I’m going for a long walk with an audiobook in my headphones along a waterfront path that I don’t get to visit that often, and this afternoon, I’m going to a movie, in the middle of the day, by myself because I feel like it (moms know, this is not a phrase we get to use very often). After that I’m heading home to cook a couple of meals for the week (I’ve got two recipes from Ryan Shepard’s blog on deck) before I head out to dinner with a friend.

Wednesday: This will be more of an errands day for me: I’m taking an early-morning OrangeTheory class (I haven’t been back in a few weeks, everyone pray for me), then taking my car in for a much-needed maintenance check, and driving downtown to get my hair cut (finally). I’m purposely leaving the afternoon more open to spend some time in my home office to get some admin stuff taken care of, design and order our holiday cards, and get through ordering the first round of Christmas gifts. Yes, this is finally the year that I’m going to get a true head start on the stuff that tends to stress me out the most around the holidays.

Thursday: This will be another early morning so I can get to the gym around 5:30 am and get a long walk done in the morning (the weather is supposed to be gorgeous that day). I have a pedicure scheduled for mid-morning (I never feel like I have time for that, and this week is designed for exactly those kinds of appointments). In the late morning/early afternoon I’m dedicating an hour to piano practice and working on some music projects I’ve been putting on the back burner. The rest of the day will be for home stuff, namely reorganizing my son’s room and working on organizing/throwing stuff out in a section of the basement. My mom will be in town that evening so I’ll probably take her to dinner, just me and her.

Friday: I have plans with my sitter to take her, my son, and my sitter’s son (who’s the same age as mine) to a local children’s museum for the morning/early afternoon, and I’m really looking forward to it. I left the rest of the day open to do whatever I want, which could include doing absolutely nothing other than reading a book in my backyard, or getting a head start on groceries for the coming week if I feel like it. Friday nights are our family nights at home, so we’ll order takeout and spend the evening at home, just me, my husband and our son.

Taking an annual reset day or few days is something I’d recommend to everyone, but especially to moms (both working and SAHM). If you’re looking for some ways to plan your own, here are a few tips to get you started.

Make the list.

Write down everything you wished you had more time for – this could be personal appointments, home projects, or just time to yourself. Once you’ve done that, pick the top three things that you want to get done and then figure out how best to carve out some time to get them done.

Take off the time – and put some boundaries around it.

Once you’ve decided when you’re going to take the time off, put some protections around that time – and then communicate that to the people around you. You don’t have to shout from the rooftops that you’re not to be disturbed, but something as simple as putting on an out-of-office auto-reply at work or telling your partner about the time you’re going to take off is a good place to start. I’ve learned the hard way that no one’s going to protect your time for you, so that part is up to you!

Focus on what’s going to help you the most.

Over the years I’ve definitely tried to do way too much with the time I allot for myself. Two years ago, I ran myself so ragged with errands that I ended up just as exhausted at the end of my PTO as I would have been if I’d spent the week at work. Different seasons of your life will mean prioritizing different things, and in this particular season for me, meaningful rest is just as important as getting stuff done – so this time around, I’m including some unscheduled time in addition to time that’s dedicated to knocking tasks off my list.

I hope this helps, and if you get the chance to take some check-in time for yourself, I hope you enjoy it!